I may be considered by many to be "young", but life is unpredictable, and I would like to experience the most out of life and the world that we live in. I'm sure many of you, young and old, share my sentiments as well. So what are the things that one should do before you die? It can be seeing, travelling, achieving, listening, experiencing,...
YOu know, I've never been one for ‘'bucket lists.’' One can’t truly appreciate things if you are busy checking them off and everyone is going to be a little different. But here is my list.
- Have a child. This is the most groundshaking experience I’ve ever had. The first moment I saw my son take breath was a moment that rocked me to the core. I felt connected to him and my girlfriend and to my own parents and all my ancestors and to everyone in the human race in a profound way that I can’t fully explain.
NOTE: I realize that not everyone desires a child; and I think that’s fine. But if you do, it is definitely worth it. - If possible, go to university outside of your hometown. Many people, of course, are kept from doing this by monetary pressures. But if it’s possible, I think it’s crucial. Moving away from home when you are young helps drive home that there are many different methods of living life and many different ways of looking at it. For example, my own family was poor and relatively unambitious to life. When I went to university I came up against people whose families were more middle class. I realized that they all shared something that my family didn’t have. A sense of possibility, a relative fearlessness of failure. This sense of possibility helps fuel ambition, which of course fuels sucess.
- Pursue your dreams. as many as you can. When you are young you should dream. There are so many possibilities when you are young. The infinite amount of possibilities that you have shrinks as you get older. Few young people realize that the sense of possibilities, the sheer range of potential choices they have, will not last forever. When you are older many choices are dictated by job, family, responsibilities. There is nothing wrong with that. That is natural. But older people miss the possibilities they have. (That is, ultimately, what mid-life crises are all about.)
Realize NOW that NOW is the time to do all the things that you will otherwise wish you’d tried when you were older.
There will be a time when you will start making choices and you will settle down and your dreams will seem more limited. that’s the cycle of life. Recognize that there is a time to come down to earth. But when you are young, don’t be afraid to put your head in the clouds. - Get dumped. Seriously. Fall in love. Hard. So hard you can’t see straight. So hard you don’t act rationally. Get dumped. It’s painful. So painful. And not any less painful for the fact that nearly everyone has been through it. But you learn so much about yourself when you are dumped. You learn to understand in a visceral way that the world does not always work the way you want it to. You learn that you yourself are not the shining angel you think yourself to be. You learn to learn and grow from experience. You learn that other people are their own entities with their own will and soul.
- Move abroad. Don’t just go to the beach in a foreign country on holiday. Spend a year or two there. If you are young and without a family do it. Do it for the experience, You don’t have to stay in a different country. Just live there for a year or two. Doing so will broaden your mind. It will
- most likely help you learn a new language
- acquaint you with a culture that is different —yet in some ways, surprisingly similar — to yours.
- allow you to see your own country through the eyes of an outsider, which few people have a chance to be.
- allow you to know yourself better, as you are better able to see your actions divorced of culture.
- introduce you to different people and different viewpoints.
After living abroad you may choose to go back to the comforts of home. But you will be wiser for it; and you will have more empathy for visitors or immigrants to your country. And maybe speak a new language, which might serve you well in a professional career. Personally, I wish I had done it younger than I did.
For me, I’m glad I went through a long phase single. I’m glad that I went through pain and heartbreak. I am glad I went through a sleazy phase where I slept with a lot of women. I’m glad I lived the life of an artist.
All of these phases had their ups and downs, their failures and their triumphs, but as I sit here at 45 looking at my beautiful son and my comfortable life, it’s definitely not the things that I failed at that I regret. It is the things that I didnt have the confidence to try or the things I didnt do when I could have.
Take risks! Talk to strangers! Ask that girl or boy out! Submit your short story! Audition for that musical! I spent so much of my life nearly-paralyzed by fear of rejection. If I was immortal that would be OK. But, you know…you are not mortal. And the older you get, the shorter your life gets. Until you get to a point that you realize that all of us are nothing more than flashes in the pan.
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